Detox Day One: Insecurity

Updated: Jun 2, 2018

The first day was emotional and I had a lot on my mind. I started to reflect on where I was within my journey and the things that had inspired me to make steps in a different direction. Its time to do more healing work it may not be easy but it's necessary, and I embrace that.

I WANT CHICKEN!!!!! Now that I put that out there lol, day one has been reflective. When I woke up I drank about a liter of water and got my day started. My first meal of today was a Kale salad and mango, followed by more water. My second meal of the day was vegan mac and cheese with sauteed mushrooms and asparagus. My snack before bed will most likely be a bowl of strawberries or a smoothie bowl. I cleaned today and got some spaces a bit more organized. I also took my spiritual bath and read my chakras. This actually helped me come to some realizations about some of the issues I could be having in my relationships.

“Abundance is truly every where but if I do not trust that The Most High will continue to provide then I am creating insecurities within myself.”

The most important relationship you can have is the one you have with your self. To understand why you feel the emotions that you feel, have the thoughts you have, and operate the way you do is necessary to explore. Every relationship is beneficial, in the sense that they all teach you more about yourself. I realized that I had given so much outside of myself, and always placed myself last and that needed answers. Why have I not given to myself? I also noticed where my insecurities lie, and why my ability to trust has been flawed and why.

IN-SE-CURE: Enclosed by what we se ( what we are without) seeking for the cure- to relieve a dis-ease.

Dictionary Definition 1. (of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.

How many times do we allow the past to control our future. Today I needed to know if I was holding on to things that happened very long ago and am I being accepting of what I need in the present moment that will heal my past insecurities that I am still carrying?

Growing up I didn't have everything that many other children did, and my mother made it clear that she made more and did more for me than my father. So I grew up in what may have been considered an unbalanced house hold. I have realized how that imbalance made me feel that we could have some how had a better and balanced life had my dad wanted to contribute more financially. Then I had to ask myself if I felt that I had financial insecurity? And the answer is yes. The past created in me the thought that a man should provide stability and financial security for his family. My understanding even at a young age was not to be materialistic but to do your part to have your needs and wants, because you may not be able to ever rely on a partnership. I did however, see a team effort in my parents ability to be there for me but I did not see a team effort in their ability to advance together, and somehow subconsciously that may be what has kept me so focused on wanting to not struggle or want my children to struggle. This is what creates the insecurity.

The Source is unlimited even when we are, so there was nothing to worry about yet my behaviors and what I verbalized created worries. Now I see where my attitude towards people paying me back , how much things cost, if I am over spending, am I saving, is my credit good and so on are coming from. Had I analyzed my investments in others and instead invested into my own certainty to receive consistent abundance, then I may not have reacted as I have when things have not worked out in those areas, especially concerning other people/ romantic relationships. Abundance is truly every where but if I do not trust that The Most High will continue to provide then I am creating insecurities within myself. This also has manifested in other ways that make me feel as if I am not enough. So now I have to enter the acceptance that there was areas I feel I have been lacking in. Before I go to bed I will give myself a Reiki treatment, read day one of the 21 Days of inspiration. and maybe listen to some soothing vibrations to assist a peaceful sleep. Tomorrow I will dig deeper into what that means. #DetoxDay1 #33daydetox #detoxify #reflect #inspiration #healthyliving #myjourney #emotions #lessons #growth #experiences #goodlife #livewell #livelifeabundantly #healthandwellness #detoxify #cleaneating #veggies #fruits #smoothies #juices #nutrition #healthyeating #organicfoods #freshfoods #recipeforgreatness #groomedforgreatness #lessons #challengedayone